The worst time to detox ever

This has to be the worst time to start the detox. It's winter, and Boston has been pummeled with what feels like ten feet of snow. I could search for some hyperbolical images of Antarctica to plaster here, or I could show you real footage (which is just as farcical, in my opinion).

This ridiculous man in the American flag shorts is indeed my boyfriend. Note the harsh landscape. Day one of five snow days.

Now I'm not going to do this whole blog thing where I take before/ after selfies. I'm not going to start out each blog post with my current weight. I'm never going to actually write how much I weigh. Yes. This is because I don't think this will turn into an uplifting Oprah-worthy weight loss miracle. At best, I think I'll feel a little less sleepy, and my belly won't be quite as expansive. But if no serious lbs are shed and I type out my true, honest size and weight, it will just be a pathetic joke that will definitely lead me into a downward spiral of life.

But seriously, winter has to be the worst time to start a diet. All I want to do is hibernate like a big bear, and feast on a ham and  Fontina cheese panini.

Be advised, I'm not following this Clean Eating diet perfectly. I will try to follow the system to a certain extent, but it's not feasible for me as a middle school teacher with a literal ten minute lunch break. I barely have time to eat an apple and drink half a seltzer, let alone heat up an already prepared dish of shakshuka.

Also, there's no fucking way I'm giving up coffee. If I quit my morning caffeine fix cold turkey, I'll have brain tumor headaches, and every student will wind up with an "F" for quarter 3.

I'm going to try to cook the dinners (sorry boyfriend who likes to eat steak and pasta every night), and stick to the mainly produce diet as much as possible. Problem is, I'm already sick of Greek yogurt.

I know it looks good (strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, raspberries, granola, greek yogurt), but at a certain point, I will need a chocolate croissant. The chess board was purposefully placed in the photo to represent "strategy" in this whole thing.

During yesterday's snow storm, I was ravenous. Luckily, my boyfriend didn't go into work yesterday in order to keep me from eating stay safe from the hazardous driving conditions. Any time I felt like snacking, he gently reminded me of my plan. He even said "You look thinner." It had only been like, six hours since eating Super Bowl Sunday BLTs at my parents' house. 

Anyway, somehow I was able to stick to clean foods (I'm still unsure what constitutes as "clean"). 

Last night, I cooked the Roast Chicken Bowl with Quinoa and Kale. The photos always make it look so good.

My boyfriend was still hungry after the meal.

Here's our photo of what this meal looked like:

I didn't even think of taking a nice overhead photo until after every last forkful was finished. The orange vinaigrette was a nice touch. I totally effed up the slow olive oil drizzle, however. I just dumped that tablespoon on in. So I added some more garlic and a squeeze of lemon juice. I typically bend the rules. 

Here's Day 1's recipe: Day One